Andrew Zell epitomises the life of a country cricketer in regional NSW. A passionate and talented player who for a variety of reasons doesn’t head to the big smoke but equally dedicated to the game.
Andrew start his cricket at Biddon-Toora Cricket Club before joining South Dubbo Cricket Club in the mid 1990s and for 10 or so years was instrumental in their clubs success.
A much travelled player, it’s been a tremendous journey and it’s great to see his passion for the game is as strong as ever.
Let’s find out more about Andrew Zell.
What year you were born?
1971 – Dubbo Base Hospital
Can you remember you first game of cricket?
I would have been about 7. I have memories of playing on two different fields which would have been on different weekends. Can’t remember which came first so I guess that’s a no. I remember being keen as mustard and to be playing cricket “officially” rather than being used as a test dummy on the farm by my two older brothers.
Tell us briefly about your cricketing journey?
Junior and Senior cricket in my hometown of Gilgandra for a club called Biddon. Biddon eventually amalgamated with another cricketing super power in Tooraweenah to become Biddon-Toora.
Moved to Dubbo to play club cricket simply to get more bowling in about the early to mid-90’s. 1 year with Colts CC in the Dubbo comp before moving to the South Dubbo Hornets CC due to the bulk of my closest mates being there. Played there until 2004-05. We managed to have a lot of success and good times along the way on and off the field.
2 seasons as the overseaser (can’t really bring myself to say pro) in the Huddersfield League in Yorkshire. 1 with Slaithwaite CC and 1 with Lascelles Hall CC. Won the main knockout comp with Lascelles Hall. First time since 1935 or so. Lascelles Hall CC was formed in 1825 and is one of the oldest clubs in England. Had a ball at both clubs and feel very privileged to have those experiences.
Had a head on car accident on the highway on my way to a game in December 96 and am very lucky to be here to say the least. I was banged up pretty badly. Multiple broken ribs, broken feet, through the dash with my knees and sliced the patella tendons, collapsed lung and some other bits and pieces. A weird period as I have no recollection to this day. That laid me up for a year or so but I managed to get back playing and felt I was a far better cricketer post my accident.
NSW Country Colts around 1990/91 and NSW Country seniors in 1994-95. I then had to miss or decline a few other times later in the 90’s and early 2000’s due to work commitments and an injury.
I moved to Sydney at the end of 06 (nearly 35 years old) for non-cricketing reasons and joined Uni of NSW. Looking back, I was pretty busted and all but done but the Village Green was about 500 mts from home and I had some great mates already at the club and was keen to have a year or two in grade however that played out. UNSW has great ties with the bush and especially the Dubbo region where mates transitioned both ways. It was a nice place to play out the rest of the 2005/06 season and one more on and off in 07 before calling it a day.
In which grade and at what age did you make your debut in grade cricket?
If we’re talking Sydney grade, I was close to 35, had one game in 3’s and then up to 2’s from then on.
If it’s bush cricket I’m guessing about 12 or so. I really can’t remember as there’d be some games where you would fill in which then kind of just flowed into getting picked in seniors regularly.
At what age did you make your first grade debut in grade cricket and can you remember how you performed in debut?
As above, I didn’t move to Sydney until I was pretty old in cricket terms and didn’t end up playing firsts in Sydney. We had a strong first grade side at the time and I wasn’t up to it by then from a physical and commitment point of view. Aside from one game in 3’s, I played the rest in 2’s. A perfect mix of old and young. We made the semis in 2’s and really should have done better considering we beat the side that won twice in that season.
As far as my debut in 3’s went I think I got 3 or 4 wickets and 30 or so before being bbq’d on a run out. UNSW club legend, David Jebb, put a good word in for me and I was up to two’s the following week. I was a bit filthy because I knew I only had a year or so to go until I called it quits but was forced into buying a new pair of shoes after my 8 year old Nike’s finally blew out.
My first game in 2’s was a funny one against Wests at Pratten. We bat first and are 4 or 5 for 40. I went in next with brand new white shoes purchased the day before, old pair of longs and a South Dubbo Hornets shirt as I hadn’t received a UNSW one yet. In hindsight, I would have looked like Jed Clampett. I’m about 5 metres from the stumps when their 20 year old wicket keeper and those around start giving me both barrels about my new shoes and unique attire. I played extremely dumb and naïve and told him to ease up as it was my first game ever, I’d borrowed most of my clothes and had been dragged in at last minute after a big night out (none being true). I got through to about 40 odd and he’d gone quiet. He eventually says “you’re a ****ing smart arse mate”. I ended up holing out and being last man out from memory for 90 odd as we managed to get to 312 thanks to great knocks by Pete Carson 60 odd, Stuey McKay and Chris Thomas hanging in for a couple of vital 30 odds. Anyway, it was an interesting prequel as to how much barely post pubescent players in the big smoke sledge.
If you can share with our audience, how would you describe yourself as a cricketer?
Firstly, I’d hope I was considered a good teammate and competitor. I was a right arm opening bowler who bowled line and length leg cutters as my stock ball and felt I could hit the spot all day long with some decent change ups. A mid to lower order bat with a good eye who could hit it pretty clean but suffered from schizophrenic tendencies once I got on a roll. Should have scored a lot more runs but knowing I could kind of hit it ok I’d get inventive in my head and find a way to get out in some random manner. First or second slipper in the field mostly.
NSW CHS - Western 1987
What were your strengths as a player?
I think I had a pretty good cricketing brain and didn’t panic. I captained a lot and felt I could manage my team’s personalities well and subsequently sum up the situation and for the most part make the right calls. Regarding bowling, I had patience and after playing against men from a young age worked out early on that you couldn’t take a wicket every ball. I was more than happy to work to a plan and loved nothing better than bowling in tandem with someone who enjoyed doing the same.
It seemed to work out that the higher up the levels I went the better I went. Good, technical batsmen would nick balls that beat others by a mile. I’d try and remain patient and attempted to not go for many in the meantime. Thanks Noel “the Fox” Raines, Clint Walker, Cameron Humpheries, Daniel Hughes, Andrew Grant, Mick Hall, Jarrod Simpson, Shane Skinner, Tony Campbell, Johnny Colwell, Damo Toohey, Tim Cox and Steve Iffland to name a few. I’m sure I’ve missed others.
What was your highest score in senior cricket?
187 not out. Club cricket out home. About 48 deg cel. I batted 4. We were 1/0 and 2/60 when I went in after 18 overs or so. We ended up 4/380. My brother Jaimie got 120 odd not Out from memory. I reckon I probably got 200 but one of their blokes jacked up a bit and began calling some 6’s 4’s. It was too hot to argue. I can’t remember this bit but Jaimie tells me I got into him after the game for hogging the strike and denying me 200! Apparently his argument was it’s hard to score 187 in 22 overs and not see some of the strike. In my older age, he has a point.
What were your best bowling figures in senior cricket?
9/27, intertown rep cricket. Bowled a bouncer to the last bloke which popped up to short leg, he was a bit nervy in close and turned his back. Was a sitter but fell safely. Fox Raines picked the last one up next over. Another hot day so I was glad to get to the shade.
There was a day against Narromine where I got 9/34 and a couple of other 9,s and 8,s along the way.
Who were the best three fast bowlers you have played against?
I’m going to go with fast bowlers I’ve faced not just against.
Number 1 with the others in no order.
Glenn McGrath. Glenn grew up in the neighbouring town of Narromine and we used to play cricket and basketball against each other. We’d play Narromine in high school and he wouldn’t get a bowl. I always thought he was better than that but for some reason he just didn’t get much of a go which I always found strange. In saying that, no one from out home would have picked him to have the career he did. That’s not being disrespectful by the way as I couldn’t be happier for him. There was plenty of very good quicks in the area in those days and Glenn hadn’t yet been given the chance to come into his own. I clearly remember sitting outside the Narromine Basketball “Stadium” one night after playing each other (crazy to think we used to have American imports in towns of 2000 people for State League basketball back then) and him telling me he was moving to Sydney. I asked if he got a move with work or something and he said no, he was going down to have a crack at cricket. The rest is history. Went to Sydney with a caravan and had a crack. Absolutely brilliant. There’s a lot in his story that should inspire young people from the bush regardless of the sport or occupation. I bumped into his sister Donna, a very good basketballer in her own right, not long after he’d played his first test and said “geez it’s great to see Glenn doing so well.” She replied “don’t talk to me about bloody Glenn. Mum used to get so annoyed with him but now he’s little golden child!” Brilliant.
Glenn McGrath
Next is Mohammad Zahid – Pakistani fast bowler I played against in England. Definitely the quickest I’ve faced. I believe Shoaib Ahktar has said Mohammad was faster than him at times. We missed him the first round as he’d gone home for test trials but got him last game of the season. I’d heard rumours all year about how quick he was and he didn’t disappoint. I think he was wanting one last crack before heading home. In scenes of what was to come years later, it was another of those, you’re in at 4/40 moments.
Up until that point Chris Killen would have been the quickest I’d faced. I’ll get to Killo in a moment.
Facing fast bowling always kind of excited me and I remember being a bit pumped up by the challenge. I get it when people say “no one likes facing fast bowling” but I also think you’re there, you’re in the moment, there’s nowhere to hide so give it the best you can. For a cricketer like me playing mostly in the bush, it wasn’t often you’d get the opportunity to face pure out and out pace. I was able to put a few on with another bloke and got to 50 just as we managed to win the game. Not that I got some runs, but that experience is something I really cherish purely from how that speed made me sharpen up and concentrate every single ball otherwise it could end very badly. It sounds an obvious thing to concentrate every ball but I don’t think I’d ever really done it to that degree before and probably didn’t do it again. Mohammad ended up taking 11 wickets on debut against NZ a month or two later and toured Australia that year as part of the triangular series and hurried a few up. There’s a little bit of footage on youtube that’s worth checking out especially a ball he gets through Dravid.
Third, I could bracket a few.
For pace, Chris Killen – local Dubbo bloke who has been mentioned in this forum a few times and went on to play shield cricket. 2 or 3 years older than me and absolutely terrorised everyone from a young age. We were due to play him in a Davidson Shield game in High School on a Wednesday and on the Sunday prior he opened the bowling for Dubbo A grade men’s and knocked two of our older bloke’s teeth out. Yay! (This was at an age where I wasn’t as excited about the challenge of facing very quick bowlers).
I’ve been fortunate to play with and against Killo and loved every moment. I used to look at him and swear I was witnessing Taz the Tasmanian Devil from Looney Tunes. That might be a bit harsh but cross that boundary and it was just on. He could bat too.
I played a rep game with him on a fresh Bathurst morning and in the first over he hit one of the batsman 3 times in the ribs and the 3 other balls went to fine leg which should have been easy singles. Porky Dillon at the non strikers end was sitting on his bat calling no at the same time Killo was letting the ball go.
Chris Killen
For skill combined with pace, Don Nash. Extremely skilful and very fast on his day. He was a younger bloke coming through amongst a very good bunch of young juniors in Dubbo at the time. Went on to play shield cricket and probably not far off further honours for a year or two there.
One quick one about Nashy. He was bowling very quick to me in a night game once and dug one in which I went back to hook. The ball kept low and I knew it wasn’t going to be good. Straight into the box. I was waiting for the pain to hit which for some reason it only did in a very minor way. (No analogies between pain and size please). Anyway, I took a few minutes to see whether I was kidding myself but it seemed I’d managed to get away with it despite the box being smashed and a bit of pinching going on. After some rectification work and panel beating I called for a new box. While this is going on, Nashy has shown typical fast bowler’s remorse and gone to have a yarn with his captain, Spec Nelson at mid off. I hear Spec instructing his young charge to “give the *$*& another one”. I parked as deep in the crease as I could and was hooking before he let it go and managed to get him away for 6. Two things I learned from that episode. 1. Take note of what’s going on around you at all times and 2. a scrotum can take on the colouring of a tropical fish the day after being hit.
In zone and NSW Country cricket I’d like to mention Peter March, Geoff Cooke, Cameron Humpheries, Greg Webster, Don Skinner, Steve Iffland, Craig Jones, Tim Cox, Brad Cox, Tim Lang, Ian Gregory, Dunc McIlveen, Craig Trindall, Phil Dunford, Jason Hall, Pete Fairall, Pete Francis, Daniel Hughes and Warren Saunders. More mentions to some very fine club mates in Jarrod Simpson, Andrew Grant, Mick Hall, Shane Skinner, Tony Campbell, Mark Crutchett, Mitchy Ryan, Mickey Daley, Clint Walker, Noel Raines, Brendon Butler and Tommy Ledger. All did their job well and gave their everything in stinking heat on flat decks.
At UNSW, the quartet of Darren Stephen, Matt Hayward, Chris Thomas and Eric Zehner were a very handy 2’s line up.
When you consider the small area of the Macquarie Valley zone where I grew up (Wellington, Dubbo, Gilgandra, Nyngan, Warren and Narromine) it’s not a bad fast bowling line up you could put together. Glenn McGrath, Don Nash, Chris Killen and Chris Tremain. Add Tim Lang and Trent Copeland from the Western Zone and some others who weren’t too far behind but never went over the mountains to the big smoke and it’s been a great region for bowlers over the years.
South Dubbo 1997-98 Premiership winning team
Who were the best three spinners you have played against?
My number one in bush cricket who I feel could have gone on to first class level would be Ashley Knight from Gulgong who tragically passed away after a car accident on his way to a game of cricket.
I had the pleasure of rooming with Knighty and skippering him in his first senior zone carnival only a month or so before his accident. I played with and against him enough to see his prodigious talent.
He could bat, field, was cricket smart and had all the deliveries as a leggie. I have some great memories of Knighty executing plans we’d come up with to take wickets. He was just an absolute pleasure to be around. Wherever he went he had a ball in hand ripping it. He was picked from that carnival to represent NSW Country but unfortunately didn’t get the chance to play.
A good mate of mine, Aaron Etcell and I used to go over from Dubbo post Ash passing away to play every second weekend with his brother Steve and father Chris in the local Gulgong comp. I have a lot of time for the Knight family and really cherish those memories.
Other mentions would be Chris Fox, very competitive, a wily spinner and handy bat.
My old mate Chris Sargent has to get a mention. I don’t know many who love cricket more than Sarg and he and Guy McAnally Elwin still rib me often about being underage at the evening function of the NSW CHS carnival in Tamworth and asking the barman for 3 “Big Beers”. I’d never ordered a beer before so I didn’t have a clue about glass sizing in those days.
Johnny Colwell, Greg Briggs and Wayne Munro in Dubbo were always able to tie up teams and although I only played him once when we played NSW 2nd X1 it was obvious Keiran Knight was a quality spinner.
Who were the best 3 batsman you’ve played against?
Again, I’ll go with those I bowled to. On paper it’d be Michael Slater, Michael Bevan and Adam Gilchrist. I’ll add one more, purely because it’s the only time I was in fear of being injured bowling to a batsman, Scott Hookey. Oh, I better throw Wasim Jaffer in there too from my time in England.
In my early years of NSW Country cricket there was the Newcastle trio of Greg Arms, Greg Geise and Mark Curry. Eric Higgins from the North Coast scored one of the best 100’s against us I’ve seen. I’d got the incumbent NSW Country opening batsman out first ball of the game and with my first ball at that level only to then have Eric come to the crease and score a sublime 100.
Other notable mentions that I played both with and against are Phil Stanbridge, Steve Mace, Simon Moore, Andrew Sainsbury, Chris Shepperd, Gary O’Sullivan, Nick Berry, Jason Green, John Colwell, Shane Skinner, Adrian Newman, Corey Martin, Matthew Phelps, Paul Toole, David Tink, Wayne Munro, Brad Cox, Ben Day, Tub Wheeler, Jarrod Simpson and the Western Zone duo/Penrith stalwarts and good mates, David Taylor and Kev Geyer.
Michael Slater
Who played the best innings you’ve seen first-hand playing with or against?
Like everyone I’ve seen some very good ones. This one is pretty easy though. Jason Green in the final of the NSW Country Zone Final against Newcastle.
Chasing a touch over 300 for victory Greeny took 16 off the first over and proceeded to blast them to all parts of the ground. He and Nick Berry, (who apparently wasn’t good enough to make the Country side but moved to Sydney the following year and played for NSW 2nd X1) put on 240 odd for the first wicket in quick time. Nick was out for 98 while Greeny got out not long after for 148. Both batted incredibly well but Greeny’s knock was an awesome display of power and style that is still spoken about today from those who saw it.
As a side note, Dennis Lillee once brought a group of young quicks out to Dubbo for a hit out and training camp. I think it was called Pace NSW or Pace Australia or something. There was a few who may had already played some first class and some other up and comers who were either in the state squad or close to it. The word went out for some local bats to pad up and provide some target practice. Greeny rocked out of the local across the road from the oval after a 5 am finish the night before and proceeded to cart them all over the place from ball 1.
Dennis was asking who this bloke is and why isn’t he in Sydney?! Max Shepherd, the Regional Director of Cricket at the time has since told me that Dennis still asks about Greeny. Some blokes just don’t make the move to the big smoke.
Jason Green
Was there any bowler in particular who whatever reason always you to cause you a few problems?
Not really. I found out early on I had the ability to get out to good and bad at any point of my innings.
Can you recall a time when you thought, wow, this is a step or two up from what you were used to in grade cricket and you really had to knuckle down to survive?
See above re Mohammad Zahid. Heightened senses I didn’t know I had but glad I found.
This mightn’t seem like much but in the context it was. I think I was about 14 or 15 and had been called up as a bowler for one of my first senior rep games. We were playing Nyngan, who had a gun fast bowler by the name of Greg Webster. Webby was as feared as Chris Killen back then, similar pace as Killo on his day and a great athlete. He knocked over Peter Toohey in one of the old Toohey’s cup games and I think Peter said he was up there with the best for pace.
Anyway, I went out batting about 8 or 9 and knew he wasn’t going to give an inch. He was far too competitive for that. After one ball I knew it was a huge jump up from anything I’d experienced to that point. Surviving for a while that day gave me the confidence I could handle myself better than I thought.
Another was playing a 3 day game for NSW Country against NSW 2nd X1. I was working pretty hard on the farm in those days and literally didn’t ever get the chance to train or have a net. To then line up against a batting line up including CheeQuee, Arnberger, Richards, Young, Hookey and Thompson was obviously a step up compared to what I was used to. Scott Hookey hit a cover drive in that game which is the hardest I’ve ever seen the ball hit.
Who was the best wicket keeper you’ve seen firsthand playing with or against?
I was fortunate enough to get selected for the week long Country Boys clinic when we were younger and Adam Gilchrist was there from the North Coast region. He already had a big reputation and after playing him in a few zone games it was pretty clear he was going to be incredible with the bat and gloves.
Aside from that, Nathan Pilon was obviously a very good keeper who came through from out our way and went on to play for NSW and Victoria. He’s one of the best blokes you’ll meet and it was brilliant to see him named in the St George team of the century.
I’d like to mention Greg Reid and Jason Ryan who I played years of Western Zone with. Reidy was very athletic and kept everyone up in the field. Took an absolute screamer off me one day which kind of set the standard for the rest of the team.
JR is one of the most talented keepers I’ve ever seen. He’d make the hardest stuff look easy. I’ve seen him pull off leg side stumpings that are just too fast for the umps.
I also have to mention Scottie Gray, Tony Ross, Mick “Bellringer” Fraser, my brother Jaimie, Arthur “Buzzy” Noonan and Dave Marshall was brilliant when we played NSW Country together.
Adam Gilchrist
Who are the two players you admired most in terms of skills and competitive spirit in the competitions you played?
Scott Thompson from when we played NSW 2nd X1. Could bowl quick, bat, great in the field and seemed to be competing every single ball. Just seemed like he was the consummate cricketer.
I think the other would be Chetan Sharma from playing in England. He was a very good pro who would get runs and take wickets when his team needed it.
Who was the best captain you had the good fortune to play with? And if you could add a few words to why.
I captained a lot over the years one way or another so I didn’t have too long playing under anyone in particular. For those that I did, I’d have to say Noel “Fox” Raines (named for being cunning as) from my early Gil days. A quiet bloke with a huge underlying competitive streak. A talented player who was respected by opponents and never questioned by teammates. Could bat, bowl and field. Was talented enough to take up bowls some years after retirement and won the state singles knockout title from more than 2000 entrants. Didn’t surprise me at all when I heard he’d achieved that.
John Colwell deserves a mention too. JC was a devastating batsman in his day, handy offie and brilliant at gully. Very charismatic and everyone loved playing under him. Has scored some amazing knocks over the years and has a very sharp cricket brain.
Who was the umpire you admired most in the way they managed a game?
Again, it’s hard to single out one so I’ll mention a few. In no order, Bill Cameron, Kevin Pye, Geoff Mann, Kim Norris and Brian McMullen. I have to mention Geoff Lummis from Gil who would travel all over to umpire us on his Sundays. Have also had the honour to be umpired by Arthur Watson a handful of times.
Now that I’ve said I won’t single any out I’ll just say that Bill and Brian were two that seemed to be prepared to give the close call rather than just take the safe option of Not Out. More times than not, I reckon they were right regardless of what side I was on. I much prefer that than the blanket not out to everything that hits the pads and some princess batsman going on to score a few and parade like a prize peacock. Guess that’s the bowler coming out in me.
I also want to mention Frank Warren. Frank was an elderly bloke who came to reside and retire in Dubbo. Frank had a fair bit of villain in him and liked our club side a lot. We were often on the receiving end of favourable decisions. Unbeknown to many, Frank had one of the most incredible back stories you could ever imagine. At one point he’d been an adviser to Bob Hawke years before he was PM and was instrumental in setting up the ACTU. He’d assisted in setting up divisions of the Royal Airforce in the UK. When the Queen visited Dubbo, she saw Frank in the crowd and fetched him to say hello. He was also instrumental in securing sizeable sponsorship for cricket out west from one of the airlines. He told me the CEO didn’t have a choice as he owed him a few favours. That’s only touching the surface, but his global network and stories were incredible.
Who has been your funniest team mate?
Where do I start? Too many to mention. Probably a bloke from the UK. Max Freeland. Max only had to open his mouth and everyone would be in stitches. If he came to oz I’d sign up as his agent and just stick him on a stage. We’d make a fortune.
Too many in oz to mention but one of them has to be a bloke called Melon Masters. I’ll give a taste as to the joy Melon brought to our team.
I was playing for Gilgandra and we were due to play Warren in Warren on a Sunday close to Christmas. This happened to be scheduled the day after what was one of the district’s highlight social events of the year being the Gulargambone Christmas Party. Home Rugby club of Wallaby Warwick Waugh by the way. Gular Christmas Party was a June Dally Watkin’s polished name for what was effectively a B & S Ball. Due to being unable to secure insurance policies under the auspices of a B & S Ball the rename had to take place otherwise the event wouldn’t be held and there could be riots. Aside from all that, a large portion of the money raised from gate takings went to charity.
Anyway, we play our club cricket that arvo and head to the ball half buggered but raring to go. Black tie affair, $30 entry fee handed over at the gate to the Gular Rugby Front Row pairing of Chookie O’Brien and Bat Owens, they in turn hand you a mug and a piece of baling twine to tie to one’s person and away you go to tell all the glamours and sundry about how you went that day against a team who only put one name or their nickname down in the scorebook. I think the opposition top 5 that day went something like Larry, Aspro, Darky, Bucko and Knackers.
Moving on. That year we had two brothers turn up to town to take over the lease on one of the pubs in the main street. It was called the Golden West but to locals it was known as the Golden Gloves. One of the brothers was Melon (Phill Masters). Melon was an ex NSW Country rugby league hooker, hard as nails and a very funny man. Melon wasn’t by any means the greatest cricketer but had a huge heart and took on the challenge to open the batting for us and pretty much wore anything and everything to see off the new ball. In NBA terms he often got a triple double. 10 overs, 10 runs and 10 bruises. Everyone loved Melon’s company and having him in the team.
Anyway, Melon decides to go to the ball and gets a lift with my brother Jaimie in his ute. Now for those don’t know anything about these types of functions, 98% would stay on site in their ute, vehicle, showground stable or wherever they could and leave anytime between daylight and sunset the next day. Circa 5am and Melon finds his way to the ute but can’t open the door to lay on the bench seat to sleep so settles for lugging himself up onto the bonnet to drift off.
Now this is where the rubber hits the road. At some point in a deep slumber, he falls off the bonnet and lands in a green ant’s nest that no one knew was there and he doesn’t wake.
Come morning time, we’re due to be in Warren (about 1 ½ hours away) by 10am to start. Somehow everyone gets to the rendezvous point in Gil to catch the mini bus and Melon gets on looking like he’s done 10 rounds with Tyson. Think those plastic surgery gone wrong types of shows. This was an early botox fail.
We arrive at Warren praying to win the toss so the bulk of the side could get some sleep but with the heat already close to 50 degrees, Noel “the fox” Raines duly loses the toss and for the first time in his career cops a spray.
Out we go to bowl with our mutant ant human Melon hidden at mid-off. I tell him he’s safe as I’m not going to give them anything to drive. We get a couple of quick wickets and he hasn’t touched the ball other than to throw it back to us bowling. A new bloke comes in and I thought I’d throw one up. He absolutely launches into it like IVA Richards and the ball is careering to mid-off.
Now Warren Oval sits right near the river and for a country oval is always in pretty good nick. The ball hasn’t taken a bad bounce all day but this one spits up about 3 feet from Melon and nails him square in the middle of the chest at pace.
He lets a sound out like he’s just lost his bowels and goes down like a sniper has got him with a head shot. 14 blokes (batsmen, umps and all of us) are in stitches.
To this day I’ve never seen another ball do it. Our hero somehow bounces back to his feet and gives the chest a rub and after a few coughs and splutters brushes it off reasonably well. He lifts the shirt up and there amongst a million green ant bites is the clear outline of the ball starting to bruise up nicely. I go back to my mark with tears in my eyes wondering if I should chuck another one up just for the value it could bring. I give it a couple of balls and then try another full one.
Old mate nails it again and Melon has to back pedal a bit to scamper to try and cover it. Again, this one jumps at him at the last second and collects him hard on that soft bit to the side of the kneecap and down he goes again. The poor bastard is covered in ant bites, has been drilled in the chest, has a hangover and is now hobbling with an egg rising off his knee.
Next over passes and he’s back next me like a faithful sheep dog. I bowl another full one and Sir Vivian tries to go for cow but it takes the leading edge and skies towards the safe hands of our mid-on fielder for a regulation catch. From out of nowhere Melon sings out “Miiiiiiiiiine”. I’m thinking what the f… but something in me tells me this’ll be good. Watching him get from mid-off to mid-on and then push our other bloke out of the way was like watching an octopus have an orgasm. Sure enough, Melon gets under it and spills it. This is becoming the best day of my life.
The rest of our fielding innings passes without much incident and after he downs a packet of cheese twisties and 3 litres of coke and ice for lunch at the local pub it’s time for Melon to open up.
He opens with Jaimie and tells him he’s right to take the first one because he felt he let the side down in the field a bit. In my opinion he did the opposite. Out they go. Melon takes guard. 1 for none. First ball of the innings and stumps are everywhere and he is walking back to us. There’s no words for how this day is playing out.
We end up knocking off the runs and having a beer or two with the Warren boys before heading for home. After nearly rolling the bus on the levee bank we hit the highway with some cold beers and stories of the day and night before being told.
The fun isn’t over though. Melon positions himself in P1 on the grid next to the driver for the return trip and about 20 kms out of Warren yells back to the rest of the crew “hey boys, watch this”.
Everyone stops what they’re doing and looks out the front windscreen to see a large road sign looming about 500 metres away. Melon is armed with an empty stubbie and has the arm cocked ready to let fly. 10 others are looking on in total suspense as if it’s match point in a tiebreaker at Wimbledon.
Charlie Hazelton attempts to increase the degree of difficulty and puts the foot flat to the floor and we begin hitting top speeds in the old bus of about 65 kph in a 110 zone just as Melon let’s fly. We hear an almighty bang and presume he’s been successful but almost instantly we hear the same noise that came out of him when he was hit in the chest in the game. He’s down for the count in the front seat. When he pops up he’s bleeding profusely out of a deep gash above his eye. No one has a clue how this has happened but then we notice the side mirror of the bus is obliterated. The bottle hasn’t made it to the sign, he’s collected the mirror with the bottle and the two have exploded with a shard of glass coming back in and opening him up!! Best day ever!
Being a good hour or so from the nearest hospital we ran with the wealth of medical knowledge on board (butcher, kangaroo shooter, apprentice mechanic, local Gil golf pro sponsored every fortnight by the government, fruit store owner gives an idea of the skill set present). The only go to item in the first aid kit (bus toolbox) to stem the bleeding was a 3 year old half roll of toilet paper covered in grease which is normally reserved for bigger roadside emergencies than this. He’s bandaged up like Martin Bella in origin and handed a new refreshment and told it’s only another 20kms to Collie pub where he can get a draughty. Collie has about 3 houses and a pub by the way.
In incredible scenes no one at all could pick, we finally get to Collie Pub to have a break from all this action only to be in for the biggest surprise of the day. Melon, despite looking like he’s survived an IED attack, has somehow got a young woman with a full back tattoo of a butterfly there waiting for him!! This bloke is the King! About an hour later we pile on board the bus to drive the last leg and return from whatever twilight zone we’ve been in all day while Melon drives off into the night in a separate car.
What a day!
As a follow up. In our next game, he and I both chase a ball to third man boundary to which he got there first. I’m encouraging him to get it in quick and he picks it up, turns just inside the boundary and let’s fly. The ball comes out of the back of his hand and goes behind him over the boundary for 4. Every game was an experience that year and probably one of the most enjoyable seasons I’ve had. It was brilliant playing with a great bunch of blokes from my home town that just enjoyed cricket and all the laughter and fun times it brings. After all this, we actually ended up winning the comp somehow.
There’s probably another 20 stories quite similar from different teams I played with but Melon’s day takes the cake.
Can you recall some banter or an exchange on the cricket field that still makes you laugh today?
Some of the NSW players came out for one of the old style Tooheys Cup type of matches where 4 state players go on each side and combine with the best locals for a game. These games usually draw a decent crowd and on this day there was plenty of locals and school kids along to watch.
I know we had Grant Lambert and my old mate Nathan Pilon with one or two others on our side with Greg Mail, Jarrod Burke and Michael Bevan and one more I think on the other.
Nathan Pilon keeping for Victoria
Anyway, we bat first and Pilo pumps a few but then it’s our time to bowl.
A bit of a crowd had built up and I always enjoyed having a go against this level of player when I got the chance. I was hoping we could take a couple of quick ones so I would have the experience of bowling to Bevan while I still had some overs up my sleeve. About 4 overs in and we had them 3 for not many. Grant had dismissed Jarrod and I’d got one of the local boys and Greg Mail about 4th ball caught behind off a perfect snick to Pilo for a duck. You beauty.
In comes Bevan and I’m a bit toey to see how I’ll go. This was around the time he was the number 1 one day batsman in the world and obviously who 99% of the crowd was there to see. An over goes by and he’s still on a duck when after a few balls taking them away, I got one to come back in. It hits him as low on the pad as you can get full and smack in front. Pilo has gone up like crazy and hasn’t shifted from behind the sticks, all the slips have gone up, I’m screaming like a mad man only to find Kev Pye, an umpire I’ve known for years and absolute gentleman, standing there with a sheepish look nearly shedding a tear for me and shaking his head.
He knew who they were there to see and it wasn’t me. I blow up a treat and express to Kev that I don’t care if he’s a ………. superstar and to just ……… give him (add a couple of colourful words in there). Kev kind of opened his mouth to say something but no words came out. A mate of mine, Jase Ryan, who is a talented cricketer and was a 3rd year apprentice electrician at the time was at the non-strikers end and gave me a look as if to say you got him cold. I take my hat at the end of the over and am heading to Pilo in the middle of the pitch hoping to hear how hard done by I’ve been. As I get to Pilo mid pitch I overhear a Dubbo electrician telling the number one batsman in the world.
“take your time mate, get your eye in, it’ll come”.
To this day I think it’s one of the greatest things I’ve ever heard on a cricket field.
In hindsight, I’m glad he wasn’t given. It was great fun bowling to him and I’m sure those at the ground much preferred seeing him in the middle.
Michael Bevan
What was your most embarrassing dismissal in senior cricket?
None that come to mind but in my later years, many who know me well would say I should have used my bat more than my pad. My argument is when you’re 6’4, bat 6 inches out of your crease, take a full stride forward and the ball hits the knee roll and ends up at fine leg there should be a hint of doubt. As a bowler you have a fair idea and I’m sure I’ve had many given not out that must have been going under. I prided myself on being ready to go from ball one and wanted to expose any chance I had if the batsman wasn’t switched on yet. I remember hitting one bloke first ball of a game on the toe with a yorker. Absolutely plumb however an ump who we’ll call Voldemort as we won’t speak his name but features in my list before said not out. I quizzed why, in not so many words once you take the x rated ones out and he replies…..welllllll Zelly, it’s first ball of the day. I said what are we playing French cricket. What if he hits me for a 6? Do we restart? Anyway, I’m obviously not bitter about any of those decisions and have completely got over them.
Who was your childhood hero?
Jeff Thomson, Allan Border, Russell Fairfax and Kevin Hastings.
Jeff Thomson
Who are the three sports people in the world you’d most like to meet?
I have a bit of a fascination and respect for people who can process risk and fear and then execute. To have the mindset to turn that into a career and profession has to be respected. So, you might have to search a couple of these but if I had to meet 3 then in no order they’d be.
Tyson Fury, love his story and skill and the fact he gave his multi million dollar purse to the homeless when he was only just coming back from being down and out himself.
JB Mauney, Bullrider, if interested, go to youtube and watch his duels with a Bull called Bushwhacker especially the one where he gets bucked off. To want to get on something like that again and ultimately be the first to ride it ever is mind blowing.
Travis Pastrana, first person to do a double backflip on a motocross bike and just a freak of nature all round.
Aside from their skills these 3 seem pretty down to earth at the end of the day.
The person I admire most now in world sport is Ash Barty. It’s very refreshing to get that combination of world class athlete and humility.
Tyson Fury
Who’s your favourite cricket commentator?
I don’t get the chance to listen or watch much these days but it was Richie Benaud. David Lloyd and Kerry O’Keeffe are great for the comedy. Isa Ghua for pronunciation. Not sure if I’ll get shot for saying this but from the little bit I heard, I honestly reckon Gus Worland did a great job hosting the Test cricket on TripleM a year or two ago.
What was your favourite ground to play at?
McGrane Oval Gil, Day/night games at Victoria Park No.1 Dubbo, Village Green UNSW. After playing most of my life in the bush it was a real pleasure to finish up playing on some of the top grade grounds in Sydney. I hope those growing up in Sydney don’t take them for granted. It’s such a shame to see the VG get destroyed at UNSW. It was a beautiful, scenic patch of land in the middle of the Uni that brought a lot of good people together.
What there a particular team you especially looked forward to playing against?
Not really. Anyone who was better on paper but otherwise no one in particular.
I loved getting the chance to play against Test, ex test and first class cricketers here and overseas.
What’s been your most memorable moment in cricket?
Winning the Country Zone Championships against Newcastle.
A few club grand finals with good mates and Intertown grand final with Gil. Also winning the knockout in England with Lascelles Hall.
From a selfish point of view, it would be selection for NSW Country Colts initially and then the senior team for the first time 2 or 3 years later. In those days it seemed like a very distant goal and was obviously the pinnacle in Country cricket. I came through in a very strong era in high school in the late 80’s. Slater, Gilchrist, Young, Alley, Davison amongst stacks of others. Add Killo a few years earlier and McGrath. These were the school kids let alone those who were missing out in Sydney grade already. I thought there’s not much point me going to Sydney if I can’t make these country sides which was probably the wrong way to think. I played Country Colts with Matthew Phelps and he did the right thing and got himself down to Sydney early. I deferred University and was under a fair bit of pressure to stay home on the farm so the bush became the place to play.
Senior Country selection seemed a mile off. In my first year of trying to make the Western Zone All Age side I took 10/52 off 27 overs across the 3 trial games and didn’t get picked. I was despondent and no one gave me any feedback as to why I missed out. I was told before I went that I’d get picked if I performed. I thought it was a completely wasted year with no guarantee that I’d do that well next time around and therefore maybe miss out again. I managed to get picked the next year and a couple of years later earn a spot in the NSW Country side. I’m not sure how much feedback is given these days but leaving players who have performed to reconcile why they’ve missed out no matter the standard isn’t a very good way to build trust in the system.
I read somewhere recently that the Newcastle side around 1992-93 outrighted NSW 2nd X1 so the standard was pretty decent for bush cricket.
A couple of memorable moments was playing in a couple of testimonials in the UK. One was for Chetan Sharma, the ex Indian all-rounder. At one point I was bowling with Alvin Kallicheran at slip, Roger Harper at gully and Chris Harris at point. Needless to say not much got through there. Shane Deitz who became a good mate in my time over there set that one up so thanks Deitzy.
I also played in a benefit match for Peter Hartley with the Yorkshire County team and some overseas ring ins from the leagues around. Our Yorkshire guys in the top order failed on a bit of a wet deck before two young Indians came together and made it look easy. One was VVS Laxman who hadn’t played a test yet and was playing as a pro at a club nearby and the other was Rahul Dravid. It didn’t really register at the time who I was witnessing but they were very nice blokes and their talent obvious.
What’s the best win you’ve been involved with?
It’d be when Western Zone beat Newcastle in the final of the NSW Country Cup.
Western Zone covers a large area and players travel huge km’s to get to games within the zone. The team doesn’t get the chance to train together and often you’re meeting a team mate for the first or second time on the morning of the first game depending on whether you’d caught up at the lead in carnival or not. In saying that, a lot already know each other and I’ve got great friendships from all over as a result.
We’d had a good run to make the final beating everyone quite comfortably in the 3 lead up games and I was quietly confident we could win but would need to play our best to do so. Newcastle are always strong and the benchmark of country cricket. We’d copped a couple of good floggings from them in the early years and I felt this was our best chance to get one back.
I’d made up my mind through the week that regardless of the state of the pitch I was going to send them in if I won the toss. If it had anything in it we’d get first use of it and if it didn’t and they got a decent score we’d be forced into playing our natural way. That might sound like a stupid theory to employ on a great deck but I thought this was our only chance of a win. I had a lot of respect for their batting line up and thought if we set a total they had the experience to time their run and pick us off. When I saw the wicket I knew it would still be good second innings.
I remember winning the toss and sending them in and Murray Christie (great bloke) the Newcastle captain saying “are you serious Zelly?” I said yeah mate. As I was walking off Brian Gainsford who is a friend and old Narromine boy/Western Zone/NSW Administrator came up and said “did you lose the toss Zelly?” I said no, I sent them in to which he shook his head and looked at me like I was mad.
The funny thing is, not one of my teammates said a word or doubted the decision.
Newcastle got to a touch over 300 on the back of a couple of fine knocks from Simon Moore and Glen Grimmond. A tick over 5 an over but I felt we did pretty well.
I took our openers, Greeny and Nick Berry aside at the break and said to Greeny “for one day of your life please respect the good ball, the rest I don’t care what you do.” Greeny is a freak and plays best when he just backs his natural instincts and hits it. Nick had shots everywhere as well and was also very attacking with a tighter technique than Greeny. Both had performed well coming into the game as had everyone in the lead up games.
Out they go facing the two current NSW Country opening bowlers …..Greeny hits 16 off the first over, two 6’s off his legs and a four down the ground. From then on he keeps anything decent out while completely slaughtering everything else. Nick pretty much does the same. We all got to sit back and watch two very special innings with Greeny’s being absolutely phenomenal. Nick was the first to fall for 98 with the score on about 240 after 40 overs or so. Greeny was out not long after for 148.
Nick Berry
The Australian U’17 Championships were on the next day in Newcastle and many of the officialdom from all the states had turned up and I don’t think they could believe what they were witnessing. Warren Smith still pulls me aside each time I see him to talk about it.
We passed Newcastle about 4 or 5 down from memory with about 8 or so to spare. Murray came up to congratulate me and as we were shaking hands said he’s just happy they didn’t have to do a nude run as he thought we were going to pass them none down.
I was very proud of the confidence and self-belief our blokes had in that team across every game. Everyone did their bit and it culminated in a great win which I think was a bit of a turning point for the zone.
When I started out, Western Zone would turn up in shorts and t shirts of all descriptions with a team cap that would have to get handed back. I remember getting rolled by Newcastle for 44 one day in my early years so to have finally bridged the gap and nail a win like that was pretty special.
Who are the three players from your playing days at the top of the list for a Saturday afternoon barbeque?
Absolutely impossible. I’m going AMWAY on this and multi-level marketing it. I’m inviting one from Gil, one from Dubbo and one from Sydney who will all invite 3 and so on. Should end up with a good crew from across the globe once that builds out.
What are your hobbies?
Family, beach, occasional game of golf and tennis when I can with a top mate from my UNSW days who lives around the corner, Tim Richardson. In normal times, gym a few times a week. In lockdown, it’s been raiding the scrub for firewood at the oval at the end of my street and turning my backyard into a Big4 campsite with plenty of backyard fires and camp oven cooking.
What’s the best advice you’ve received?
I didn’t ever get much coaching but somewhere along the line I embraced 2 things.
1. Be ready to go and make the first ball count. Have a feeling Mike Whitney may have had something to do with that at a clinic when I was about 16.
2. Also to back yourself. I didn’t do this enough in my early days.
3. My own – until your name is in headlines across the back page of the Telegraph and Herald don’t take yourself too seriously. Whatever stories I have, there is another bloke or woman who has the same and done more, so just enjoy the fun, mateship and life lessons this game can bring.
What is your occupation?
I work for Deloitte in their Restructuring division. My job is to align Deloitte with professional advisors to small and mid-market businesses across the state so their clients in financial distress can access and afford Big 4 advice if and when needed.
I also run my own private service for anyone or any business/company looking to sell assets of any description (civil, construction, retail, manufacturing, etc) via an auction house. Similar to a mortgage broker, I broker a better deal for the client which pretty much guarantees more money in their pocket without it costing them anything. andyzell@gmail.com if you want to have a chat.
Are you still involved in cricket and if so, in what capacity?
I’ve just got back to playing after 14 years off. Will see what happens this year with Covid. I feel pretty fit in general but some niggly stuff is starting to surface after the years of toil and the car accident years ago.
I’ve also been asked to get back involved with Western Zone leading into the zone carnivals and would love to help out if I can and if they still think I’m of value. Covid again will dictate the likelihood of that.
If you were running a State Cricket Association what would your 2 priorities to ensure cricket in the state remained strong and successful on and off the field?
That’s a great question. I’m too far removed and don’t follow closely enough these days to know whether these comments are valid or not.
I suspect with 20/20 cricket and the pathways in place someone will struggle to make it these days unless they’re identified early. The combination of both doesn’t bode well for the longer form of the game.
I think there has to be some sort of way to integrate and give opportunity into FC to those who perform at an older age in grade. Everyone matures differently and to write someone off because of age or the fact they haven’t been in a pathway is crazy to me and smacks of job protection and justification within the Association’s structure. Obviously, there has to be pathways but I feel officials feel the need to justify their job by continually supporting players they’ve previously identified and put the investment into. On the surface, that makes sense but to me that’s a risk that comes with dealing with humans. A player should be cut if they’ve been given every opportunity and not performing. On the flip side, if there’s someone in the wings who isn’t a pathways player and consistently performing, give them their chance. They may turn out to be that bit more desperate and work that bit harder. I think we run the risk of losing players to the game out of frustration. Gun juniors become average later on. Average juniors become guns later on. Take the blinkers off at times. Hopefully you get more right than wrong.
Aside from all that, get FC and state squad players playing more grade cricket. Make 2nd X1 cricket a hard pathway again. Can’t happen I guess if other states aren’t in line. I’d also like to see less fully contracted state cricketers and more money put into juniors/clubs/country development etc. With the money in the big bash there seems to be a bit around to earn an ok amount. While we’re at it, take more games to regional areas.
One last thing, get rid of these bats that are around. It’s only a matter of time until a bowler or umpire gets hurt badly. Either do away with them or juice up the wickets.
Thanks to anyone who’s bothered to read this far.
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