South Brisbane v Northern Suburbs - game summary

I’ve always felt a sense of trepidation going back to Shaw Road to take on Norths. After all, there aren’t too many blokes that have made the ‘Hall of Shame’ at the same venue in two different sports. First, this was the scene of ‘Dan Christian-gate’, which I’ve already covered in this self-indulgent biopic, but to recap- I ‘tried on’ his Brisbane Heat cap; he’s got a really small melon; he saw me and didn’t buy my explanation, and I find myself down one member of the ‘Mark Dash Fan Club’

Shaw Road also hosts Norths Rugby Club (or back when I played Teachers Norths). Back in the day, I was a half-starved teenager that hung out on the wing for Uni 5s. That being sad, I loved it…except for two things- when they threw or kicked the ball to me and when I had to tackle someone. Believe me, this code switch was purely to improve my social life. Sunday arvo, City Rowers, beers and I could tell girls that I played rugby. This, like most of my stories, was met with disbelief.

Anyway, it’s 1989 and we are kicking the frosty dew off the grass for a 9am kick off against Teachers Norths. Edging the Cortina into the car park, I’m confronted by the coach who says the regular scrum half has got the flu and I have to play in the no. 9. The sum of all fears…half-back…doesn’t he realise that this position is reserved for the worst player in the team? I mean, I give you George Gregan. And, by the way, I can guarantee this bloke didn’t have the flu- 5 hours before we were both knee deep into our third bottle of Stone’s Green Ginger Wine. Now, I’m nursing two hangovers.

The game starts and I’m dishing off to the five-eighth, box kicking and going for drop goals like you wouldn’t believe. All the while though there’s this flanker who’s just trying to get his hand into everything. ‘Seriously, ref, are you going to do something about this bloke?’ I can’t remember his name, so I’ll call him Richie McCaw, because he was offside at ever breakdown as well. This goes on for most of the 1^st half, when, just before half time, we have the ball in a maul on our own try line. Next thing I see is Richie’s hand sticking out on the ground. I take a quick look to see if the ref and the touchies are watching and then I tap dance on his hand. Thing was, I probably should have looked a bit harder because, while the ref and touchies didn’t see it, everyone who had played for Norths saw it. Before then, my only worry that day was getting out of there as quick as possible so I could get to the Yangan B & S ball that night. Now, I was just happy to get out of there alive….

Fast forward to the cricket. Rain on day one saw the contest revert to a red ball, 50 over game on day 2. Norths were without guns, Joe Burns and Cameron Gannon, but could boast triple threat Nathan Mc Sweeney. Souths lacked Bill Brown, Greg Chappell and Dan Christian, but could still count on Brendan McNae who could very well be the club’s greatest player by the time he retires. Braving the away shed that has all the bucolic charm you would expect of a Big Day Out porter-loo, Souths got off to a dream start, with James Ward trapping gloveman, Tom Healy, in front from the first ball of the match. Dawson and McSweeney consolidated reaching 50 before Dawson was dismissed off the bowling of McNae. Good bowling and smart fielding saw the Vikings lose regular wickets to be 6 for 129 before 2^nd drinks. Late order hitting from Connor Sully ensured Norths had a target to defend all out for 209.

The innings break was marred by some of the worst throwdowns you would ever see, with skipper Lucky Peterson the most vocal critic. For me, the only useful throwdown are those made by Victoria Bitter. Souths’ chase started like it does most weeks- a top order collapse. Through good bowling, poor shot selection and just plain dicking off, Souths were reduced to 6 for 85 after 22 overs. Enter second gamer, Corbin Zellar and the ubiquitous McNae. Both batsmen chipped, prodded and ran well for a partnership of 54 that have the Magpies a glimmer of hope. Sully was brought back into the attack early to break the partnership and indeed, did so dismissing McNae in the first over after drinks to leave Souths at 7 for 139 needing a further 71 off 17 overs.

New batsman Zak Honeybrook wasted no time declaring his intentions, flaying the attack to all parts of the ground. With Zellar playing the perfect foil, Souths reached the target in the 47^th over to give the Magpies a much needed and deserved win. Zellar finished on 52 and Honeybrook on 49.

As the target neared reach, chat turned to some of the close games we’ve been involved in. Inevitably, Coach Kepler Wessels brought up the Boxing Day test in 1982 where England beat Australia by three runs. Dead set, this bloke mentions that he played test cricket more times than he used to get bowled behind his legs. To be serious for a minute though, I think his hard work with the group is well and truly paying off.

1^st grade’s win was followed up by a great win by the Women’s 2^nd grade team on Sunday. This win has put them in the final four coming into the last round. Fittingly, this marks the first time since City Rowers in 1989 that I’ve scored twice in the same weekend. Go well, ladies and for the men, let’s see if we can stuff up someone’s season.

Gardner Vaughan are proud sponsors of South Brisbane Cricket Club