If there was a world record for the number of expletives expelled after being dismissed in cricket, it would have Michael Bevan’s name next to it! The anger and aggression shown to his bat, helmet and pads following his dismissal was unprecedented. If there was a DOCS for cricket gear, I would have called the 1800 number.
Saying that, his self-ridicule and tantrums following a low score often gave his team mates some light hearted humour.
“How many F’s today boys?” Mark Waugh would ask as he framed a quick market for the boys to place bets on an incoming Bevan and how often he would swear.
"10 to 15 is the spread. Who is buying or selling at $5 a ‘F**K.'
I don’t think I ever sold. I also don’t think I ever lost! Michael was prolific!
As he entered the change rooms the “Bev Attack” would often start by his bat being thrown against the wall. Gloves hurled towards the showers and helmet kicked like a 40/20 in Rugby League.
“F**K, F**K, F**K. Do I play cricket because I like cricket?” He would ask himself. “No, I hate cricket! Do I play cricket to get chicks? NO, I have never got any chicks! Do I play cricket because it relaxes me…I’m NOT RELAXED! F**K, F**K, F**K…”
And on it went until all his aggression had left his body and he would re-join his team mates with a Diet Coke and a big smile an hour or so later.
On the field Bevo was a genius. He started his junior career as an opening fast bowler, only to change to batting and left arm leg spin due to a back injury. Many forget, Bevo replaced the great Allan Border in the Test team. It was this added pressure that I think ultimately cost him a 100 Test match career as he tried to alter his natural aggression and play a less care free game like his predecessor. Michael Bevan COULD play the short ball. I witnessed it on numerous occasions as he peeled off another 200 for NSW in the Sheffield Shield. He did all this against Cricketing Nations fastest bowlers. Often hooking, pulling and cutting to all parts of the ground on fast and slow wickets. He also averaged 60 plus on his first Test tour to Pakistan against Wasim Akram and Waqar Younis at their best. Unfortunately there was no Foxtel at the time and no one saw it in Australia.
A match seen by almost every Australian and on more than one occasion, is the famous last ball victory on New Year’s Day against the West Indies in 1996. Bevo wrote himself in the history books by scoring a four the last ball of the match. A straight drive down the ground off Roger Harper. What a win. What a player! That is where the excitement ends for me personally. Being selected for a New Year’s Day One day International is special and as a result I was tucked up in bed early on New Year’s Eve with zero alcohol on board. After nicking the first ball I faced to the wicket keeper, I walked slowly off the SCG with a duck against my name.
“F**K, F**K, F**K. What a disappointment. I can now feel myself turning into Bevo.”
Michael Bevan is a complex character. A loner and deep thinker. The thing that made him a world beater is the same single mindedness that makes him socially awkward. I remember rooming with him once on a Sheffield Shield tour to Queensland. It was well known amongst the boys that Bevo is an insomniac and under no uncertain terms you should ever wake him if he falls asleep.
On one particular evening after the match, I went out for a few beers and dinner with the boys. I was rooming with Bevo. He chose to go home early, get room service and watch a movie on his own. I returned to our room circa midnight and crept in quietly, hoping not to wake a potential serial killer from his beauty sleep. As I slid quietly into my sheets and with no movement from his bed, I felt the tragedy had been averted. Within two hours of my arrival and now into my own deep sleep, I am woken by strange puffing and panting noises coming from the dark in my room.
What was Bevo doing over there? I hasten to think. Does he know I’m in the room? Is he treating his body like an amusement park?
I quickly turned on the lights before things go out of hand - pun intended. I don’t think I have ever been happier to see a grown man doing sit-ups at 2am in the morning in the dark. I quickly turned the lights back off and rolled over and went to sleep.
These days I don’t see much of Bevo. Apart from almost every weekend on a replay of that famous victory at the SCG. Yes the game I scored a duck in. My phone often lights up with numerous text messages from my mates. “I’m watching you on TV. Go Shane! Gee you look young there…Oh you just got out for a DUCK!”
I may not see Bevo these days but his ways have stuck with me 25 years after that fateful match. I find myself slipping into a personal “Bev attack” as I walk around my house.
“F**K, F**K, F**K! Shit game. Why me?
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